I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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