my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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