Jerry, you need to find god
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
