can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
