will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
