How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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