Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
