I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
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No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
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2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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