Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
