You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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