Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
