How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
