is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
