Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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