YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just had sex bonerless
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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