Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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