I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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