He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize