Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
