She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
