Kiss
Puke
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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