Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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