he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
There's even glitter on my cock...
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