just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
