The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
