I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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