Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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