That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
