I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
