you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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