Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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