We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
