so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
