I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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