My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
His hands were made for my vagina.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
