Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i love accidental penises.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
