wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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