I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
