pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
