i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
