At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
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He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
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I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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