bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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