do herpes really smell.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
