how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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