I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
