I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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