God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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