I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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