I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
