The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
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Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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I have fence marks all over my body
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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