That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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