What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
