he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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