I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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