everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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