I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
