worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
