I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We are all done wearing pants today
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My feet surprised me
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