your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
