I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
