I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
