And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
