Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
