are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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