So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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