Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
