ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
