Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
