do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize